Matlab jokes or puns

Chad Greene on 18 May 2015
Latest activity Reply by Image Analyst on 12 Sep 2023

Are there any good Matlab jokes? I don't mean why or any other Easter eggs, I mean good jokes involving Matlab. Actually, that bar may be a bit too high. Any jokes, good or bad, let's hear 'em.
DGM
DGM on 12 Sep 2023
(cough)
yeahah
what('is love')
MATLAB Code files in folder /users/mss.system.wuwowO/is love baby dont hurt me
Image Analyst
Image Analyst on 12 Sep 2023
For those who are wondering about this post: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEXWRTEbj1I
Rosa Kager
Rosa Kager on 8 Mar 2021
matlab is the joke
Mario Malic
Mario Malic on 22 Feb 2021
Younger generations will appreciate this.
Ashley Barnes
Ashley Barnes on 9 Dec 2020
Where do MATLAB Online programmers store their files?
In the wordcloud.
Mehmed Saad
Mehmed Saad on 11 Jul 2020

I am a Bit Late

for i = 1:10
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end
Omer Ben-Yshai
Omer Ben-Yshai on 30 Apr 2019
You can't handle the truth!
Capture.PNG
Rik
Rik on 30 Apr 2019
Sure you can:
the=@true
Hooman Sedghamiz
Hooman Sedghamiz on 30 Jan 2019
In persian (Farsi) Matlab means "content" and could be interpretted as something related to literature. During the second year of my bachelor's degree, I saw a course in my schedule called "Matlab", as I was an electrical engineering student, I thought this is probably for those interested in literature, and skipped the first 5 lectures....
John D'Errico
John D'Errico on 2 Feb 2019
oops. :)
Stephan
Stephan on 11 Dec 2018
A physicist, a matlab programmer and a firefighter are invited to a social science experiment. Everyone spends a week in a completely isolated room with only a table, chair, paper and pencils. There are also 2 small stainless steel balls on the table.
When the physicist comes out of the room after a week, all the sheets of paper are written and the pens written completely empty. His notes are reviewed and he receives the Nobel Prize.
When the Matlab programmer comes out of the room after a week, all the sheets of paper are also filled with Matlab code and the pens are completely empty. In addition, he has written code on the walls. His notes are checked and he receives the Fields medal.
After the room has been renovated, the firefighter is left in the room for a week. After a week, the room looks impeccable - the pile Paier and the pens are unused and everything looks like the first day. Only one of the two stainless steel balls is missing and the second one is broken. When asked, he says, "It was not me!"
Stephan
Stephan on 11 Dec 2018
its not too late - my english is bad and google is good, but still not perfect. Thanks for the hint.
Stephen23
Stephen23 on 11 Dec 2018
"I was not!"
???
Was this translated from "Ich war's nicht!"? If so, then the best matching English idiom would be "It wasn't me!"... otherwise it must be too late at night and I just don't get it.
John D'Errico
John D'Errico on 11 Feb 2018
A comment that I frequently find useful when answering questions about MATLAB.
Eat a programming elephant one byte at a time.
David Neibig
David Neibig on 25 Jun 2017
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand hexadecimal and F the rest
Chaya N
Chaya N on 22 Oct 2016
Q: What does your cat do when it sits on your laptop?
A: It plays with strings.
Sanchit Mishra
Sanchit Mishra on 30 Sep 2016
Italian Mafioso #1: Why "input" the name never of nagging wives ?
Mafioso #2: cause, Not enough input arguments.
ASAAD ALSHUKAILI
ASAAD ALSHUKAILI on 30 Sep 2016
^_^
FFF
FFF on 29 Sep 2016
Short Lovestory: MAT was in love with SIM and he spent many "words" to prove it , but SIM "blocked" them. The End
yezi
yezi on 27 Sep 2016
wrldtrv
traveling around the world~
Star Strider
Star Strider on 26 Nov 2016
Terrific polar bear!
Mahemuti Bulibuli
Mahemuti Bulibuli on 27 Sep 2016
while I_was_young
pause(100 years);
end
ileyda dikmen
ileyda dikmen on 26 Sep 2016
:)
pjsudharshan
pjsudharshan on 26 Sep 2016
one day, a girl asked to a boy: MATLAB matlab kya hai? Is it called capital matlab? the boy fainted! and she was from electronics background! Can only be understood by Hindi-speakers!
Sangkook Kang
Sangkook Kang on 26 Sep 2016
I'm not sure how to vote
Ivan Ivanov
Ivan Ivanov on 24 Sep 2016
)
Sevan Harput
Sevan Harput on 23 Sep 2016
:)
Star Strider
Star Strider on 23 Sep 2016
La F!
Luke Boguski
Luke Boguski on 23 Sep 2016
Q: want to hear a chemistry joke?
A: K
Q have time for another?
A: Na
Matlab User
Matlab User on 22 Sep 2016
Go!!! MATLAB Central Scavenger Hunt
Veronica Contreras
Veronica Contreras on 22 Sep 2016
Are you cold? Because you can stand in the corner..where it's 90 degrees!
Dharmendra  Kumar
Dharmendra Kumar on 22 Sep 2016

She >> You don't love me anymore...

Engineer >> What, What are you saying... why?

She >> Tell me then.. Who is that "matlab" that you mentioned while you're sleeping ...

She >> No, "Matlab", she is my assistant in work. In addition, she is married to "Simulink" since 1984.

Engineer's Wife >> ok

Tao Wang
Tao Wang on 22 Sep 2016
bar(flip(sort(rand(1,2))))
Yong Oh
Yong Oh on 22 Sep 2016
what is the answer # 10? ^^
Yong Oh
Yong Oh on 22 Sep 2016
mat-lab ^^
Rtg500
Rtg500 on 22 Sep 2016
Why did the chicken cross the road? -To make the matrix dimensions match
sharafa sharafa
sharafa sharafa on 22 Sep 2016
what do you call a mat in the laboratory? ... MATLAB
Paulo
Paulo on 21 Sep 2016
where is the joke?
James Arnold
James Arnold on 21 Sep 2016
What do you call a dog that is good at math? A mat-lab.
Mel
Mel on 20 Sep 2016
>> help fun
fun not found.
Oh poor Matlab can't find fun :(
BHAVISHYA BANSAL
BHAVISHYA BANSAL on 20 Sep 2016
Fun is converting all .m function files to .p and then deleting those functions on someone's PC. :P
Mohamed Ebrahim
Mohamed Ebrahim on 19 Sep 2016
The fact of Family tree in MATLAB!!!!!!!!!!!!
SEU
SEU on 18 Sep 2016
an icy beauty :)
Walter Roberson
Walter Roberson on 17 Sep 2016
SK.Farabir Ahmed comments,
I think the spy command added later ,By NSA .That is why you found it on R2013a ver .
Gail Rojas
Gail Rojas on 17 Sep 2016
Max Rotenberg
Max Rotenberg on 17 Sep 2016
11 cheers for binary!
Oscar Ornelas
Oscar Ornelas on 16 Sep 2016
INCONSOLABLE -Duuude. I wrote her my love in a m.code. -And so? What happened dude? -Forgot a semicolon ):
Gregg
Gregg on 16 Sep 2016
Soren Jorgensens
Paulo Abelha
Paulo Abelha on 16 Sep 2016
The name Matlab comes from two undergraduate students in a dorm inventing Matlab. One of them was called Matt. The other said: 'Hey, Matt, labourious work, there, heh?' Ant it was compiled. And they rejoiced.
Christine Olson
Christine Olson on 16 Sep 2016
Not sure how to vote on these forums, but good job on the puns!
Søren Jørgensen
Søren Jørgensen on 16 Sep 2016
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination
Rani V.S
Rani V.S on 16 Sep 2016
There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
Muthuswamy Venkatraman
Muthuswamy Venkatraman on 16 Sep 2016
Why is grid function worried??
Because there is a plot against it !
Thanki Rohit
Thanki Rohit on 16 Sep 2016
In India: Matlab is can be speak as મતલબ.
Daniel Dsouza
Daniel Dsouza on 16 Sep 2016
Jus cos you tan, doesn't mean you should. It's a sin ;) :) #JokesForMatlabSwag!
ammar
ammar on 16 Sep 2016
In Egypt : Matlab like female name Mahitab So, when someone asks do you like Matlab I reply 'Matlab or Mahitab'
Jennifer Villarreal
Jennifer Villarreal on 15 Sep 2016
Deaf mathematicians communicate through sin language.
Image Analyst
Image Analyst on 15 Sep 2016
A novice MATLAB programmer flying in a hot air balloon over Natick Mass suddenly realizes he's lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below (an engineer) says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this parking lot."
The balloonist sighs and says "You must work in the MATLAB Answers department,".
Surprised, the engineer replies "I do. How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man on the ground replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
Dharmendra  Kumar
Dharmendra Kumar on 15 Sep 2016
;)
ANIL P
ANIL P on 15 Sep 2016
??
Thomas
Thomas on 15 Sep 2016
;)
wavedude81
wavedude81 on 15 Sep 2016
What's the fun in that?
Bilal Metin Altinoz
Bilal Metin Altinoz on 15 Sep 2016
Perfect!!!!!
Aj_ti
Aj_ti on 15 Sep 2016
Me, before and after relationship:
Images Source: Google's Image
T Kha
T Kha on 15 Sep 2016
If MathWorks were to venture in the lipstick industry, they'd release a lipstick called "Matte-Lab".
Treesa Tomy
Treesa Tomy on 15 Sep 2016
NICE..!!!
Alfred Darling
Alfred Darling on 15 Sep 2016
NICE!
Abhay Alok
Abhay Alok on 15 Sep 2016
@@Amazing@@
Stefan Hoermann
Stefan Hoermann on 15 Sep 2016
% 50 shades of grey
num_shades = 50;
shading = 255/(num_shades-1);
shades_of_grey = [[0:shading:255];
[0:shading:255];
[0:shading:255];
Benedictor Alexander Nguchu
Benedictor Alexander Nguchu on 15 Sep 2016
LastName = {'Smith';'Johnson';'Williams';'Jones';'Brown'};
Character = ['lazy1';'short';'urgly'; 'sleep';'talke'];
EyesFeature = ['sqaur';'recta';'brown';'Bluee';'spher'];
T = table(Character,EyesFeature,'RowNames',LastName);
>> T
T = 
                  Character    EyesFeature
                  _________    ___________
      Smith       lazy1        sqaur      
      Johnson     short        recta      
      Williams    urgly        brown      
      Jones       sleep        Bluee      
      Brown       talke        spher  
Jacco
Jacco on 15 Sep 2016
Bit of beating a deadhorse, but still :).
Manikanta Nallagatla
Manikanta Nallagatla on 15 Sep 2016
COOL
Eross Janos
Eross Janos on 15 Sep 2016
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
Vishnu T
Vishnu T on 15 Sep 2016
Very good!
Treesa Tomy
Treesa Tomy on 15 Sep 2016
oH...gOD
Anoop Sasidharan
Anoop Sasidharan on 15 Sep 2016
Really good
kulandhaivadivel s
kulandhaivadivel s on 15 Sep 2016
Good One
Praneeth  kumar
Praneeth kumar on 15 Sep 2016
want to know about matlab f... ! , it's stuck as usual. "help f..." suggest that f... is funny.
Praneeth  kumar
Praneeth kumar on 15 Sep 2016
nice
ning hongkai
ning hongkai on 15 Sep 2016
NICE~
Sivasathivel
Sivasathivel on 15 Sep 2016
Eross Janos
Eross Janos on 15 Sep 2016
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? Customer: Hello... I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and... Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical! I'm not Bill G...
Sampath Kumar
Sampath Kumar on 15 Sep 2016
Good one..ha ha
Huan-Yang Chang
Huan-Yang Chang on 15 Sep 2016
good answer!
Muhamad Helmi Mat Lazib
Muhamad Helmi Mat Lazib on 15 Sep 2016
There are 10 persons that know the binary code. One know it while another one does not know
Jamal Kashani
Jamal Kashani on 15 Sep 2016
Jamal Kashani
Jamal Kashani on 15 Sep 2016
I found it in Matlab help: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would could chuck wood?
BayX
BayX on 15 Sep 2016
help fun not found fun
Le Duy
Le Duy on 15 Sep 2016
function fun()
printf('Have fun!');
end
SANDEEP M
SANDEEP M on 15 Sep 2016
The world can be classified as two eras; one who uses Mathworks and another one who uses Maths :)
Sarah Fontenot
Sarah Fontenot on 15 Sep 2016
Looking back across sample user codes, I've realized that people give their cats some weird names. R, G, and B? Whose bright idea was that?
Chris Beckett
Chris Beckett on 15 Sep 2016
"Error using plot
Parent destroyed during line creation" It just got real.
Sarah Norred
Sarah Norred on 14 Sep 2016
A: "What is the integral of 1/cabin?"
B: "log cabin."
A: "Nope, houseboat--you forgot the C."
UserError
UserError on 14 Sep 2016
Q: Why does a proton have a charge and a neutron doesn't?
A: Because it has more ups than downs.
UserError
UserError on 14 Sep 2016
So this bar walked into these two guys... sorry, wrong frame of reference
Shuggs
Shuggs on 14 Sep 2016
->insert matlab pun function here
Kane Byles
Kane Byles on 14 Sep 2016
If I had a Labrador named Matt to follow me around, my life would be complete.
muhammadasad8
muhammadasad8 on 14 Sep 2016
I liked this one:
Matrix dimensions must agree.
I actually don’t mind their having a difference of opinion so long as they keep it civil and don’t start throwing things.
Star Strider
Star Strider on 14 Sep 2016
Thank you!
sam moor
sam moor on 14 Sep 2016
matlab joke
Yassir Mounsif
Yassir Mounsif on 14 Sep 2016
I like this one: What does Matlab call its grandmother? NaN
Juan Ant
Juan Ant on 14 Sep 2016
why a turtle is so slow ?? mmmm let me think... what are you exactly asking FOR ?? ... maybe no one is waiting FOR ... FOR example, with other animals ...
Parvez Rafi
Parvez Rafi on 14 Sep 2016
To mathematicians, solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists, solutions are things that are still all mixed up.
Lanh Van Nguyen
Lanh Van Nguyen on 14 Sep 2016
>> doc Matlab jokes or puns
Nitesh Panchal
Nitesh Panchal on 14 Sep 2016
Why did cauchys dog stop at every pole ? A: To leave its residue
Morgan Menke
Morgan Menke on 14 Sep 2016
power(byThe, MATLAB)
Julie Mason
Julie Mason on 14 Sep 2016
Q: Why do mathematicians like parks?
A: Because of all the natural logs.
Dinesh Nahar
Dinesh Nahar on 14 Sep 2016
i am fully amazed with its functions
SamAli
SamAli on 14 Sep 2016
You can Excel with MATLAB ;)
Muhammad Aslam
Muhammad Aslam on 14 Sep 2016
I am surprised to see this stuff seriously :))))
Shefali Ramteke
Shefali Ramteke on 14 Sep 2016
seriously??? cool stuff dude! yeah this inbuilt code is indeed over the top! :P :D :D
Fangyu Gao
Fangyu Gao on 14 Sep 2016
Why there are so many MATLAB jokes related to LOVE?
mitchebersole
mitchebersole on 14 Sep 2016
Would a script that analyzes and traces handwriting be considered a recursive function?
pankaj mathur
pankaj mathur on 14 Sep 2016
i am adjusted... i am showing off.. these lines not for me.. these are inbuilt code :D :D [(imadjust, imshow)]...
Wilujeng Fitri Alfiah
Wilujeng Fitri Alfiah on 14 Sep 2016
Lokendra rathore
Lokendra rathore on 14 Sep 2016
I thought it is METH LAB so I came here.
Priyabrata Panigrahi
Priyabrata Panigrahi on 14 Sep 2016
I fell in love when i first MET-LAB. So i continued working in LAB as scientist...hehe ;)
pankaj mathur
pankaj mathur on 14 Sep 2016
i am adjusted... i am showing off.. these lines not for me.. these are inbuilt code :D :D [(imadjust, imshow)]...
Devesh Kumar
Devesh Kumar on 14 Sep 2016
imagesc(get(gcf,'PointerShapeCData')); colormap([0 0 0 ; 1 1 .5]); axis image; axis off; set(gcf,'pointer','custom')
Pablo Mateos Masa
Pablo Mateos Masa on 14 Sep 2016
my mother said to tidy up my room and all I did was
"clear close all clc"
pankaj mathur
pankaj mathur on 14 Sep 2016
i am adjusted... i am showing off.. these lines not for me.. these are inbuilt code :D :D [(imadjust, imshow)]...
Rajeev H V
Rajeev H V on 14 Sep 2016
MATLAB matlab(in Hindi) MATLAB!!
Dina
Dina on 14 Sep 2016
Sergiu Iliev
Sergiu Iliev on 14 Sep 2016
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25
And my favourite 'Easter Egg' load handel sound(y, Fs)
Alessandro Cesetti
Alessandro Cesetti on 14 Sep 2016
Have you ever heard about MATLAB toolbox that prepares you a coffee? Be sure to have MOKA port on your laptop!!!
Joshua
Joshua on 14 Sep 2016
Did you ever hear the joke about the Matlab toolbox equivalent to a poor poet's handbook?....Yeah, me neither.
Xiangrui Li
Xiangrui Li on 14 Sep 2016
Like this one!
Jacob
Jacob on 14 Sep 2016
Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with pencil and paper.
Jochen Schuettler
Jochen Schuettler on 14 Sep 2016
K>> last_err
Undefined function or variable 'last_err'.
Did you mean:
K>> lasterr
ans =
Undefined function or variable 'last_err'.
Larry Kyrala
Larry Kyrala on 13 Sep 2016
There once was a humble developer,
Who tried simulating a propellerer,
'When it tries to spin
The out flows in,'
But backwards his model ran betterer.
- Larry Kyrala (In response to a coworker asking how to write a clean limerick rhyming with 'developer'. 2009-02-20)
Mathan Chandran
Mathan Chandran on 13 Sep 2016
I don't like to see that matlab accepts subroutines on jokes and puns.
Mathan Chandran
Mathan Chandran on 12 Sep 2016
matlab jokes and pun are not visible to me. I don't know why
Rahat Ali Khan Langah
Rahat Ali Khan Langah on 10 Sep 2016
I hop there will a fun toolbox in MATLAB. Set the parameters and keep laughing.
Gowtham Sandeep Nainala
Gowtham Sandeep Nainala on 10 Sep 2016

Tonight We Matlab in Hell

john marino
john marino on 10 Sep 2016
Q: Why do mathematicians like parks?
A: Because of all the natural logs.
Image Analyst
Image Analyst on 10 Sep 2016

The MATLAB Programmer's wife/girlfriend:

John D'Errico
John D'Errico on 11 Feb 2018
Funny
Jamilah Foucher
Jamilah Foucher on 9 Sep 2016
How do you say goodbye in Matlab? quit, exit
n = []; Why did n go to lunch? because it was empty...
Tan Huynh Ngoc
Tan Huynh Ngoc on 9 Sep 2016
MATLAB I am curious you
Vladimir Glavac
Vladimir Glavac on 8 Sep 2016
Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.
Aaron Jackson
Aaron Jackson on 8 Sep 2016
Are there any doctors on the plane?
Yes, I'm a doctor! (opens up MATLAB)
Kaan Agis
Kaan Agis on 8 Sep 2016
Jay-z: "Turn that 62 to 125, 125 to a 250 250 to a half a million, ain't nothin' nobody can do with me"
MATLAB: "Say no more !"
jwiix
jwiix on 8 Sep 2016
i: Be rational! {pi}: Get real!
Image Analyst
Image Analyst on 8 Sep 2016
things = sqrt(-things); % Now things are getting real.
Sonal Joshi
Sonal Joshi on 8 Sep 2016
If you read MATLAB in Hindi, it would be मतलब which means 'Meaning'?!
Edgar Guevara
Edgar Guevara on 7 Sep 2016
parfor iDishes=1:nDishes,
do_the_dishes();
end
Maverick72
Maverick72 on 7 Sep 2016
Matlab is near Boston right ?
So the Bruins will win the Stanley Cup and the Patriots don't cheat...
LOL !!! (says the guy from Montreal)
George Archbold
George Archbold on 7 Sep 2016
Greetings from Colombia
Sangram
Sangram on 7 Sep 2016
Matlab please marry me.
jwiix
jwiix on 7 Sep 2016
i: Be rational! pi: Get real!
Aurelien Queffurust
Aurelien Queffurust on 7 Sep 2016
This is my tongue-twister challenge from my old French blog http://blog.developpez.com/matlab4geek/?p=115): Are you able to say several times : BATMAN MATLAB BATMAN MATLAB BATMAN MATLAB …
MATLAB BATMAN may beat the hardest tongue-twister in the English language which is according to Guinness World Records : The sixth sick sheikh’s sixth sheep’s sick. « Le sixième mouton du sixième Cheikh malade est malade. »
Bhuvnesh Rathor
Bhuvnesh Rathor on 7 Sep 2016
matlab is very intresting in simulation if we connect low value device to high capacity then matlab always answered
terianto hidayat
terianto hidayat on 6 Sep 2016
matlab simplify math
Image Analyst
Image Analyst on 6 Sep 2016
(With apologies to John von Neumann)
Loren Shure challenged Mathworks founder Cleve Moler with this problem:
"Two trains are 100 meters apart, moving towards each other. Each train is moving at 10 meters per second. A bee is flying back and forth between those two trains at 20 meters per second. Eventually the bee will be squished when the two trains crash against each other. When they do, what will be the total distance flown by the bee?"
According to legend, Cleve thought for a moment, and then said "100 meters".
Loren said, "Correct. But now I know, from the quickness of your response, that you are really a physicist, not a mathematician. The mathematician would have calculated when each bee-train encounter takes place, calculated the position, taken the sum of those distances as an infinite series, and then summed the series. But a physicist would have taken a short-cut; the physicists would have realized that the bee was flying for 5 seconds at 20 meters per second, so it would have traveled 100 meters total."
Cleve's purported response: "Oh, that's a clever way to solve it! No, actually, I summed the series."
Rik
Rik on 27 Feb 2018
Nice story, but on the other hand:
You shouldn't believe everything
people say on the internet.
- Abraham Lincoln
Loren Shure
Loren Shure on 6 Sep 2016
eye(newt) and ceil(approval)
Marco
Marco on 6 Sep 2016
Matlab is like some kind of a religion, if he doesn't know the answer then he send you a NaN (misspelling of Nun)
Marco
Marco on 6 Sep 2016
Matlab is like some kind of a religion, if he doesn't know the answer then he send you a NaN (misspelling of Nun)
Ruello Rubino
Ruello Rubino on 5 Sep 2016
There are
bi2de(10)
types of people in the world, those who know MATLAB and those who don't.
Walter Roberson
Walter Roberson on 6 Sep 2016
There are
bi2de([1 0], 'left-msb')
types of people in the world, those who test their code and those who don't.
aldi andika
aldi andika on 5 Sep 2016
where can i find guide for GUIDE ?
Sreejeesh SG
Sreejeesh SG on 5 Sep 2016
if you plot 8 and 0 on X and Y , who will be on Z?
SOO SHAO WEI
SOO SHAO WEI on 5 Sep 2016
Alex : I am using Matlab to simulate this sir!
Sir : Mad Lab ?
Alex : Yeah, MatLab
Sir : okay (This guy already mad in the lab)
Lovish
Lovish on 4 Sep 2016
What did the zero say to the eight? ::::Nice Belt::: "0 turns 8"
mmhb1365
mmhb1365 on 4 Sep 2016
How many simulationists does it take to replace a lightbulb? Infinity: Each one builds a fully validated model, but the light actually never goes on.
MI DENG
MI DENG on 4 Sep 2016
HELP is very useful, but it couldn't help me to live.
Alessandro Colmegna
Alessandro Colmegna on 4 Sep 2016
Why sqrt() cannot go out with -1? It is complex
Viktor
Viktor on 14 Sep 2016
sqrt(-1)
ans =
0.0000 + 1.0000i
'Matlab R2015a'
Mehvish Ali
Mehvish Ali on 4 Sep 2016
So an input argument of type "double" attempts to enter a circular area(), of which said argument's max radius "r" extends beyond the function's ceil(ing). Why does the program let it pass?
The answer: The function was "dynamic"!
% I know, I know. This was terrible. I'm not feeling overly punny at the moment. Next time, perhaps.
Tank Zhang
Tank Zhang on 4 Sep 2016
Ask: Is there anything that matlab can't do?
Answer: Give me a girlfriend!
John D'Errico
John D'Errico on 11 Feb 2018
And yes, this is why there are so many MATLAB jokes that involve "love".
Star Strider
Star Strider on 3 Sep 2016
MATLAB is not self-aware:
>> MATLAB
Undefined function or variable 'MATLAB'.
Chelsea Moussouni
Chelsea Moussouni on 3 Sep 2016
while true
use MATLAB
end
ONKAR SALUNKHE
ONKAR SALUNKHE on 3 Sep 2016
Matlab(In English) Matlab(In Hindi) ?
aviram aviv
aviram aviv on 3 Sep 2016
why do 6 afraid of 7? cos 7 8 9
Ardalan Alizadeh
Ardalan Alizadeh on 3 Sep 2016
MATLAB in my language (Persian) means "matter/subject", sound-wise. So, what's the MATLAB with you?!
Nemat Ab Azar
Nemat Ab Azar on 5 Sep 2016
I hope to see this comment because it was a big challenge for me to state this idea.
Jonathan Winfield
Jonathan Winfield on 3 Sep 2016
Why did I divide sine by tan? Just cos I can!
Aditya Rajawat
Aditya Rajawat on 3 Sep 2016
Good question
Sajil C K
Sajil C K on 3 Sep 2016
One day one Hindi teacher got MATLAB installation disk by error. He thought it was of the Hindi movie Matlab...
Michael
Michael on 3 Sep 2016
I 8 a π b 4. U r Σ π ∇!
(transation: I ate a pie before. You are some pi nibbler!)
Dhiraj Kumar Muthyala
Dhiraj Kumar Muthyala on 3 Sep 2016
Matlab is pun
ashvinee
ashvinee on 2 Sep 2016
good one
Mustafa Gök
Mustafa Gök on 2 Sep 2016
Matlab is an eraser, pen and notebook for engineers. - New World - :))
agokhan
agokhan on 2 Sep 2016
Even Matlab can't figure out the women =/
>> help women
women not found.
Gareth Thomas
Gareth Thomas on 2 Sep 2016
t = linspace(-pi,pi, 350);
X = t .* sin( pi * sin(t)./t);
Y = -abs(t) .* cos( pi * sin(t)./t);
plot(X,Y);
fill(X, Y, 'r');
set(gcf, 'Position', get(0,'Screensize'));
title('Happy Birthday!', 'FontSize', 28);
Andrei Luca
Andrei Luca on 2 Sep 2016
What was Hodor's name if he was using matlab ?
Holdon;
Jörg Binder
Jörg Binder on 2 Sep 2016
x = [102 105 98 111 110 97 99 99 105];
f = @(n) [1,0] * [1 1;1 0]^n * [1;0];
char(cell2mat(arrayfun(@(a,b) [repmat(a, 1, f(b)), 32], x, 1:numel(x), 'UniformOutput', false)))
Saeed Ullah khan
Saeed Ullah khan on 2 Sep 2016
Matlab is a good tool
Faruq Sujan
Faruq Sujan on 2 Sep 2016
Matlab loves
Thomas Blackwood
Thomas Blackwood on 2 Sep 2016

A Pirate Captain and his band of scally-wags were out hunting for the treasure of Euclid when they came across a polynomial.

"Arrr," the pirate captain growled, "The devil be laughin' at us, we need to find X."

"And Why?" his crew asked.

"Gya-har! You're right, the roots will give us too many spots."

Prince Marx
Prince Marx on 2 Sep 2016
Nice
ALBERT ALEXANDER STONIER
ALBERT ALEXANDER STONIER on 2 Sep 2016
Fun overloaded programs will be updated as an extravagant stuff.
Yeong Ni Wong
Yeong Ni Wong on 2 Sep 2016
E R R O R
Matt Tearle
Matt Tearle on 2 Sep 2016
Not a joke or pun, but in the spirit of MATLAB fun:
There was an old math guy called Cleve
who, while teaching, a pipe-dream conceived:
of a language so clean
you can say what you mean!
From our suffering we've all been relieved.
Firnas Ahamed
Firnas Ahamed on 2 Sep 2016
wanna create an m-file which could make someone fall in love with me...What is the code for???Can any1 suggest:)
Sai Kalluri
Sai Kalluri on 2 Sep 2016
Wanna keep MATLAB busy with single command.
pause(inf);
:P
ganesh zambre
ganesh zambre on 2 Sep 2016
MATLAB is allrounder!!
Muhammed Ali  TASKIN
Muhammed Ali TASKIN on 2 Sep 2016
I love MATLAB
midi cherif
midi cherif on 2 Sep 2016
MATLAB: Matlab Accepts to Loop And Break.
Anushi1998
Anushi1998 on 2 Sep 2016
It seems matlab is faster than C++
ganbayar batchuluun
ganbayar batchuluun on 2 Sep 2016
i dont know it could be a joke but anyway it is here: People tell me write code in C++ because matlab is slow and c++ is fastest, but matlab is faster when i test it using lot of GUI for real.
Daniel Linares
Daniel Linares on 2 Sep 2016

I love jokes

Emmet Sheerin
Emmet Sheerin on 2 Sep 2016
Why do mathematicians always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
sandeep kumar
sandeep kumar on 2 Sep 2016
><The real joke is I don't know about MATLAB><
kailas  jadhav
kailas jadhav on 2 Sep 2016
Any jokes, good or bad, let's hear it.
SOMYA JAIN
SOMYA JAIN on 2 Sep 2016
nice one
V BHANU NAIDU
V BHANU NAIDU on 2 Sep 2016
Why did the inmate want to learn Matlab? Just for cellfun.
V BHANU NAIDU
V BHANU NAIDU on 2 Sep 2016
nice one
Sajib Kumar Chaudhury
Sajib Kumar Chaudhury on 2 Sep 2016
What is the sum of "love"? Is it ever possible that "love" could also have sum? But Matlab knows....
eyup yilmaz
eyup yilmaz on 2 Sep 2016
Sum of love = 1/0
sivaram b
sivaram b on 2 Sep 2016
While function and Wife function are similar in nature. while(1) :loop will always be executed with out any break; wife(1) :wife gives only one option to listen to her which should be executed by husband with out any excuse
Michele Rienzner
Michele Rienzner on 2 Sep 2016
How to welcome a new thesist: 'Hi, my name is XXXX. First of all the base rules, the most important is: MATLAB is ALWAYS written in capital letters. ALL the name in capital letters, ALWAYS.'
Sajib Kumar Chaudhury
Sajib Kumar Chaudhury on 2 Sep 2016
What will be the sum of "love" ?? How could be even "love" have
sum. But matlab knows...
siddartha vellanki
siddartha vellanki on 2 Sep 2016
In hindi language matlab means meaning
Fatemeh ansari
Fatemeh ansari on 2 Sep 2016
in Persian language has title meaning
Matej Pacha
Matej Pacha on 2 Sep 2016
A manager and a programmer are travelling by car for a business meeting. Suddenly, the car engine fails and the manager says: "what should we do now? Can you fix it?" "Sure, it's easy, I do it every time my PC fails - let's get off the car, wait for a while and then get in again!"
Naveed Ahmed
Naveed Ahmed on 2 Sep 2016
Go and fool the tall good and smart system manager. But, why? The rich rich and tall and good system manager suggested it. But, why? He wanted it that way. But, why? OK! Scavenger Hunt wanted it that way...:p
Neeraj Singh
Neeraj Singh on 2 Sep 2016
if NOT true
% DO NOT code
end
Markus Hail
Markus Hail on 2 Sep 2016
How many programmers are needed to change a light bulb? NaN, it`s a hardwareproblem.
Cenk Celik
Cenk Celik on 2 Sep 2016
Even MATLAB does not have a brain. No need to worry about life.
John D'Errico
John D'Errico on 9 Dec 2020
Dorothy would have found MATLAB of no use in the Wizard of Oz.
>> heart
Unrecognized function or variable 'heart'.
>> courage
Unrecognized function or variable 'courage'.
Zong Hua Chen
Zong Hua Chen on 2 Sep 2016
>> help me
me not found.
Use the Help browser search field to search the documentation, or type "help help" for help command options, such as help for methods.
Gotham
Gotham on 2 Sep 2016
Human: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?
MATLAB: 1
Saurabh  Tiwari
Saurabh Tiwari on 2 Sep 2016
a = 1; b = 2; c =a+b; i
become older now do it on your figures.
Nguyen Huudat
Nguyen Huudat on 2 Sep 2016
You use the same way as before but you hope you 'll have a different result ? No :D
Avinash Tallapaneni
Avinash Tallapaneni on 2 Sep 2016
Q:What do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplaces?
A:Natural Logs.
Masoud Afrakhteh
Masoud Afrakhteh on 2 Sep 2016
sreenivasulu reddy patel
sreenivasulu reddy patel on 2 Sep 2016
never give up, fight :-)
Michelle Bundy
Michelle Bundy on 2 Sep 2016
Make one error with matlab...
Copy Delete Paste...
Wait That's Maple.
Masoud Afrakhteh
Masoud Afrakhteh on 2 Sep 2016
Spent one month trying to fix Maaalab code....
Missing one period :(
Lynette Bustos
Lynette Bustos on 2 Sep 2016
>>social life
Undefined function or variable 'social'.
Did you mean:
>> scal life
Yes, sorry MatLab I did mean "scal life"...
Zong Hua Chen
Zong Hua Chen on 2 Sep 2016
  • I love Matlab, and I have found my heart in Matlab.*
sreenivasulu reddy patel
sreenivasulu reddy patel on 2 Sep 2016
really!
Star Strider
Star Strider on 2 Sep 2016
@Image Analyst —
Good one!
I saved the code.
Image Analyst
Image Analyst on 2 Sep 2016
t = linspace(-pi,pi, 350);
X = t .* sin(pi * .872*sin(t)./t);
Y = -abs(t) .* cos(pi * sin(t)./t);
plot(X,Y);
fill(X, Y, 'r');
axis square;
set(gcf, 'Position', get(0,'Screensize'));
title('I have found my heart in Matlab', 'FontSize', 28);
Mohamed Awadallah
Mohamed Awadallah on 2 Sep 2016
Australian people say Matlab but say Maaalab
ZHEN YU CHAN
ZHEN YU CHAN on 2 Sep 2016
Always
Xiangbao SONG
Xiangbao SONG on 2 Sep 2016
What? who?
Bill Jankowski
Bill Jankowski on 2 Sep 2016
What is the tastiest number?
Pi.
Manoj Bharadhwaj
Manoj Bharadhwaj on 16 Sep 2016
Good one!
Dominic Wu
Dominic Wu on 2 Sep 2016
Also cant take credit for this one but wanted to share:
"I love MATLAB so much I named my Labrador Retriever 'Matlab'"
Sean de Wolski
Sean de Wolski on 2 Sep 2016
So it's a matlab lab?
hussien rashad
hussien rashad on 2 Sep 2016
Calc the area under the plane
Iman Behzadian
Iman Behzadian on 2 Sep 2016
a constant , a linear 2*x function and an arrogant exponential function walk into a diff bar that all the functions are derivated. The constant walks in first. it becomes zero immediately. the linear function walks in afterwards, it resisted first but become zero at the end. The arrogant exponential function , walks in last to show off his strengths to his friends. but it becomes zero as well ,,,, it was a diff bar in respect to 'y' !
xueqian zhang
xueqian zhang on 1 Sep 2016
How to calc my aeroplane?
By hand or MATLAB!!
Abdo TIFIRASS
Abdo TIFIRASS on 1 Sep 2016
Yes of course
Ricardo Tangarife
Ricardo Tangarife on 1 Sep 2016
--When the teacher says we have a task ( ̄~ ̄)
++But the task is a program in matlab (✿◠‿◠) ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ (* ^ □ ^ ) 八(^□^)
Sandy
Sandy on 1 Sep 2016
I can see your "view", but your "point" is totally out of "plot".
Elisa Sabbat
Elisa Sabbat on 1 Sep 2016
Two coordinates are talking. What did one coordinate say to the other ?
"I do see your point"
Alex
Alex on 1 Sep 2016
Can you figure out the plot?
Carlos JG
Carlos JG on 1 Sep 2016
When my students make mistakes on MATLAB Command windows -and the computer rings- I always say: Stop Chatting With Cleve Moler
Star Strider
Star Strider on 1 Sep 2016
Are the roots of the characteristic equation of the eye matrix called augenvalues in Germany?
(I know. I shouldn’t have. I couldn’t resist!)
Audrey Fifer
Audrey Fifer on 1 Sep 2016
type spy
SANDIP  GAUTAM
SANDIP GAUTAM on 1 Sep 2016
Open the Matlab command window and type one of the following to get a nice surprise:
>> image This one gives an image of a boy.
Image Analyst
Image Analyst on 1 Sep 2016
It's Steve Eddins's son. And there is more to it than that. Steve's blog has the story behind the image: http://blogs.mathworks.com/steve/2006/10/17/the-story-behind-the-matlab-default-image/?s_tid=srchtitle
ANKUR SINGH
ANKUR SINGH on 1 Sep 2016
My teacher asked me to bring calculator in class, so i brought MATLAB.
Pedram MASOUDI
Pedram MASOUDI on 1 Sep 2016
V=[cos(pi/180*Min(j,D))*cos(pi/180*Min(j,Dip)) ...
sin(pi/180*Min(j,D))*cos(pi/180*Min(j,Dip)) ...
-sin(pi/180*Min(j,Dip))];)
Error: Unbalanced or unexpected parenthesis or bracket.
I found it: it is winking at the end of the code ;)
Image Analyst
Image Analyst on 1 Sep 2016
Rik
Rik on 27 Feb 2018
I might be a fan, but this is a bit too far for me...
idan
idan on 15 Sep 2016
nice!
d singh
d singh on 3 Sep 2016
Great. I want one.
Sajib Kumar Chaudhury
Sajib Kumar Chaudhury on 2 Sep 2016
Are you from germany?
Nicholas Mallott
Nicholas Mallott on 1 Sep 2016
Did you hear that MATLAB recently included a method for the software to actually process foods, and store it in a matrix for you?! It's true! Fair warning though; it may take MATLAB a couple of bytes...
Paco
Paco on 14 Sep 2016
That was good.
PANKAJ PANDYA
PANKAJ PANDYA on 1 Sep 2016
believe it >>>>>>>> matlab provides us a 'Game of Life'.......... uuuuuummmmmmmmmmm what...... 'Game of Thrones' .... ohhh no no it is simply a game of life
Tom Anderson
Tom Anderson on 11 Sep 2016
Pardon me, I'll be off playing
>> xpbombs
Luis Tomas Calvario-Velasquez
Luis Tomas Calvario-Velasquez on 1 Sep 2016
:B
Andrew Ydenberg
Andrew Ydenberg on 1 Sep 2016

MatLab or Mat Labs?

James Smith
James Smith on 1 Sep 2016
Coming up with matlab jokes is as easy as pi
Cesar Bibiano
Cesar Bibiano on 1 Sep 2016
hold the door;
Rathin Joshi
Rathin Joshi on 1 Sep 2016
MATLAB Jokes... Compilation Error... !!! Lol
Sunny Desai
Sunny Desai on 1 Sep 2016
Matlab could have been as cool as Batman if it had one LESS letter l and one New N!
Haolin
Haolin on 1 Sep 2016
Great question! I mean, I would love to :) (First time using MATLAB Online...)
Luis Varela
Luis Varela on 15 Sep 2016
Matlab knows that speaks!,jeje, but, why I laugh?
gowthaman rajasekaran
gowthaman rajasekaran on 7 Sep 2016
Ha ha ha, Matlab Knows - next to hello ,there will be question to help
Daniel Rubin
Daniel Rubin on 1 Sep 2016
- How many Matlab lines needed to change a lightbulb? - One, but you need to have the right toolbox.
Massimo Zanetti
Massimo Zanetti on 14 Nov 2016
Super
David Manuel Buitrago Montañez
David Manuel Buitrago Montañez on 1 Sep 2016
Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right? A: 1
mujeeb rehman
mujeeb rehman on 1 Sep 2016
give printf command to get a easter eggs :)
Amir Khan
Amir Khan on 1 Sep 2016
>>Funny Coding at Matlab.
Sascha Nicklisch
Sascha Nicklisch on 1 Sep 2016
What is the sign on the door of an internet hacker? 'Gone Phishing' :)
Nyunsu Kim
Nyunsu Kim on 1 Sep 2016
What a funny community!
Lela Bralovic
Lela Bralovic on 1 Sep 2016
Of course, Simulink is deserved to be under control.
Tiffany Ge
Tiffany Ge on 1 Sep 2016
What does Matlab call its grandmother? NaN
Rohan Patil
Rohan Patil on 1 Sep 2016
Matlab is so possessive that it wont let Simulink interact with us without it!
Toby
Toby on 1 Sep 2016
In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.
guilherme correa
guilherme correa on 1 Sep 2016
Do you clear all the mess in your room?
peter ateshian
peter ateshian on 1 Sep 2016
its a LabMat! Labrador on a Mat
Martin Tischler
Martin Tischler on 1 Sep 2016
C U later Calculator, I'll be in the Matrix Laboratory
Himanshu Makhija
Himanshu Makhija on 1 Sep 2016
Plot on
Josh
Josh on 1 Sep 2016
hold on
dp phung
dp phung on 1 Sep 2016
nice...
Matthew Sisson
Matthew Sisson on 1 Sep 2016
hold on
surya narayana
surya narayana on 1 Sep 2016
:)
Eddie Frie
Eddie Frie on 1 Sep 2016
>> temperature Undefined function or variable 'temperature'.
SURAJ
SURAJ on 1 Sep 2016
Why MATLAB is the wish of most of the man which he want to be true.Because according to him the other meaning of MATLAB is * | May all the lakes are beer*|.
StefanLSN
StefanLSN on 1 Sep 2016
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
Bhaskar Mitra
Bhaskar Mitra on 1 Sep 2016
wow
Ruben Gomez
Ruben Gomez on 1 Sep 2016
lol ahaahhahaha
Nirakar Pradhan
Nirakar Pradhan on 1 Sep 2016
hahhaha
Hyunuk Ha
Hyunuk Ha on 1 Sep 2016
haha, I don't know hot to react...
Muhammad Imran
Muhammad Imran on 1 Sep 2016
Good Joke
v.agrawal
v.agrawal on 1 Sep 2016
if you == have_a_little_time
disp('Great! You are reading my comment.')
elseif you == have_no_time
disp('Oh man! How you can be so busy?')
else
disp('There is lots of fun.')
end
Cheung
Cheung on 1 Sep 2016
What do you call a baby eigensheep? A lamb, duh!
Rafael Hernandez-Walls
Rafael Hernandez-Walls on 1 Sep 2016
How can we identify an engineer using MATLAB ?
Walter Roberson
Walter Roberson on 2 Sep 2016
You check his toolbox?
John Ware
John Ware on 1 Sep 2016
"help" is a great feature in Matlab...and one day while looking for a function shortcut i found this gem.. and laughed
>> help fun
fun not found.
003 003
003 003 on 1 Sep 2016
Everytime I transfer the type of an image, like
I = single(imread("one_image.jpg"));
I always repeat silently, 'single'. And there shall never be one image. So I repeat again and again. single... single... single...
Andrew Nguyen
Andrew Nguyen on 1 Sep 2016
What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? You can't cross a scalar and a vector
John D'Errico
John D'Errico on 11 Feb 2018
Ouch.
Nixon Xavier
Nixon Xavier on 1 Sep 2016
MATLAB = Man At Table Losing Appetite and Beer
003 003
003 003 on 1 Sep 2016
Everytime I transfer the type of an image, like
I = single(imread("one_image.jpg"));
I always repeat silently, 'single'. And there shall never be one image. So I repeat again and again.
Patrick Delaney
Patrick Delaney on 1 Sep 2016
What do the wise sages use and search for during life? मतलब!
(please copy and paste that into Google translate and look at the English pronunciation and the Hindi translation)
Hydrophilic Wonder
Hydrophilic Wonder on 1 Sep 2016
Matlab Q: How does Matlab function?
Reply 2015: Because Math Works;
Reply 2016: Because Math Works; follow this Simulink for more info
What's the difference between R2015 and R2016?
Hoi Wong
Hoi Wong on 10 Feb 2018
There are no strings attached in R2015
Max Lupton
Max Lupton on 1 Sep 2016
If you and dead people know hex then how many people know hex?
>> 1+hex2dec('dead')
ans =
57006
I'm doing this for the T-Shirt
Michael Jarboe
Michael Jarboe on 1 Sep 2016
way to make me crash my MatLab...
%LB Sim
sys = 'LB_Simulationist';
open_system(sys);
run(sys);
% Lightbulb == 1 (On) // == 0 OFF
Lightbulb = simout.data;
num_sims = 1;
while Lightbulb <= 0
run(sys);
Lightbulb = simout.data;
num_sims = num_sims + 1;
end
Pratyush Talreja
Pratyush Talreja on 1 Sep 2016
What's the Object oriented way of becoming wealthy? A: Inheritance
Abedalsalam Bani-Ahmed
Abedalsalam Bani-Ahmed on 1 Sep 2016
What is the actual translation of Matlab in Arabic
A laboratory died!!! True story :)
Valentin Serey
Valentin Serey on 1 Sep 2016
Two friends after a movie :
- What did you think about the plot?
- Well, Not enough input arguments.
Rajat Singhal
Rajat Singhal on 12 Dec 2017
Haha
david jones
david jones on 25 Sep 2016
Nice
shirin
shirin on 23 Sep 2016
Really good!
Prabhakaran Rajasekaran
Prabhakaran Rajasekaran on 9 Sep 2016
Nice
Julian Wei
Julian Wei on 3 Sep 2016
Funny, and so there are no expected results in figure.
Franky Hsieh
Franky Hsieh on 3 Sep 2016
funny.
sreenivasulu reddy patel
sreenivasulu reddy patel on 2 Sep 2016
good one¨
Joshua Slough
Joshua Slough on 1 Sep 2016
Great one! haha.
NING
NING on 1 Sep 2016
while not succeeded
try again
end
Jun Tan
Jun Tan on 1 Sep 2016
Math works at MathWorks.
Piper Hill
Piper Hill on 1 Sep 2016
What's purple and commutes?
An abelian grape!
Piper Hill
Piper Hill on 1 Sep 2016
What's green and homeomorphic to the open unit interval?
The real lime!!!
ajan
ajan on 1 Sep 2016
Simulations can be run again and again ...but life has no retakes
SURAJ
SURAJ on 1 Sep 2016
Why a man always dream that his wish of MATLAB comes true ? Because according to him MATLAB also means * | | May all the Lakes are BEER||*.
Joseph Siefert
Joseph Siefert on 1 Sep 2016
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are hunting and see a deer. The biologist takes a shot and misses 2 feet to the left. The chemist take a shot and misses two feet to the right, and the statistician yells "You got him!"