Matlab jokes or puns
Chad Greene
on 18 May 2015
Latest activity Reply by Image Analyst
on 12 Sep 2023
Are there any good Matlab jokes? I don't mean why or any other Easter eggs, I mean good jokes involving Matlab. Actually, that bar may be a bit too high. Any jokes, good or bad, let's hear 'em.
632 Comments
Time Descendingmatlab is the joke
Younger generations will appreciate this.

Where do MATLAB Online programmers store their files?
In the wordcloud.
I am a Bit Late

for i = 1:10
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end
You can't handle the truth!

In persian (Farsi) Matlab means "content" and could be interpretted as something related to literature. During the second year of my bachelor's degree, I saw a course in my schedule called "Matlab", as I was an electrical engineering student, I thought this is probably for those interested in literature, and skipped the first 5 lectures....
A physicist, a matlab programmer and a firefighter are invited to a social science experiment. Everyone spends a week in a completely isolated room with only a table, chair, paper and pencils. There are also 2 small stainless steel balls on the table.
When the physicist comes out of the room after a week, all the sheets of paper are written and the pens written completely empty. His notes are reviewed and he receives the Nobel Prize.
When the Matlab programmer comes out of the room after a week, all the sheets of paper are also filled with Matlab code and the pens are completely empty. In addition, he has written code on the walls. His notes are checked and he receives the Fields medal.
After the room has been renovated, the firefighter is left in the room for a week. After a week, the room looks impeccable - the pile Paier and the pens are unused and everything looks like the first day. Only one of the two stainless steel balls is missing and the second one is broken. When asked, he says, "It was not me!"
A comment that I frequently find useful when answering questions about MATLAB.
Eat a programming elephant one byte at a time.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand hexadecimal and F the rest
Q: What does your cat do when it sits on your laptop?
A: It plays with strings.
Italian Mafioso #1: Why "input" the name never of nagging wives ?
Mafioso #2: cause, Not enough input arguments.
^_^
Short Lovestory: MAT was in love with SIM and he spent many "words" to prove it , but SIM "blocked" them. The End
wrldtrv
traveling around the world~
while I_was_young
pause(100 years);
end
:)
one day, a girl asked to a boy: MATLAB matlab kya hai? Is it called capital matlab? the boy fainted! and she was from electronics background! Can only be understood by Hindi-speakers!
I'm not sure how to vote
)
:)
La F!
Q: want to hear a chemistry joke?
A: K
Q have time for another?
A: Na
Go!!! MATLAB Central Scavenger Hunt
Are you cold? Because you can stand in the corner..where it's 90 degrees!
She >> You don't love me anymore...
Engineer >> What, What are you saying... why?
She >> Tell me then.. Who is that "matlab" that you mentioned while you're sleeping ...
She >> No, "Matlab", she is my assistant in work. In addition, she is married to "Simulink" since 1984.
Engineer's Wife >> ok
bar(flip(sort(rand(1,2))))
what is the answer # 10? ^^
mat-lab ^^
Why did the chicken cross the road? -To make the matrix dimensions match
what do you call a mat in the laboratory? ... MATLAB
where is the joke?
What do you call a dog that is good at math? A mat-lab.
>> help fun
fun not found.
Oh poor Matlab can't find fun :(
Fun is converting all .m function files to .p and then deleting those functions on someone's PC. :P
The fact of Family tree in MATLAB!!!!!!!!!!!!


an icy beauty :)
SK.Farabir Ahmed comments,
I think the spy command added later ,By NSA .That is why you found it on R2013a ver .
11 cheers for binary!
INCONSOLABLE -Duuude. I wrote her my love in a m.code. -And so? What happened dude? -Forgot a semicolon ):
Soren Jorgensens
The name Matlab comes from two undergraduate students in a dorm inventing Matlab. One of them was called Matt. The other said: 'Hey, Matt, labourious work, there, heh?' Ant it was compiled. And they rejoiced.
Not sure how to vote on these forums, but good job on the puns!
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination
There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
Why is grid function worried??
Because there is a plot against it !
In India: Matlab is can be speak as મતલબ.
Jus cos you tan, doesn't mean you should. It's a sin ;) :) #JokesForMatlabSwag!
In Egypt : Matlab like female name Mahitab So, when someone asks do you like Matlab I reply 'Matlab or Mahitab'
Deaf mathematicians communicate through sin language.
A novice MATLAB programmer flying in a hot air balloon over Natick Mass suddenly realizes he's lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below (an engineer) says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this parking lot."
The balloonist sighs and says "You must work in the MATLAB Answers department,".
Surprised, the engineer replies "I do. How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man on the ground replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
;)
??
;)
What's the fun in that?
Perfect!!!!!
Me, before and after relationship:

Images Source: Google's Image
If MathWorks were to venture in the lipstick industry, they'd release a lipstick called "Matte-Lab".
NICE..!!!
NICE!
@@Amazing@@
% 50 shades of grey
num_shades = 50;
shading = 255/(num_shades-1);
shades_of_grey = [[0:shading:255];
[0:shading:255];
[0:shading:255];
LastName = {'Smith';'Johnson';'Williams';'Jones';'Brown'}; Character = ['lazy1';'short';'urgly'; 'sleep';'talke']; EyesFeature = ['sqaur';'recta';'brown';'Bluee';'spher']; T = table(Character,EyesFeature,'RowNames',LastName); >> T
T =
Character EyesFeature _________ ___________
Smith lazy1 sqaur Johnson short recta Williams urgly brown Jones sleep Bluee Brown talke spher

Bit of beating a deadhorse, but still :).
COOL
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
Very good!
oH...gOD
Really good
Good One
want to know about matlab f... ! , it's stuck as usual. "help f..." suggest that f... is funny.
nice
NICE~

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? Customer: Hello... I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and... Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical! I'm not Bill G...
Good one..ha ha
good answer!
There are 10 persons that know the binary code. One know it while another one does not know

I found it in Matlab help: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would could chuck wood?
help fun not found fun
function fun()
printf('Have fun!');
end
The world can be classified as two eras; one who uses Mathworks and another one who uses Maths :)
Looking back across sample user codes, I've realized that people give their cats some weird names. R, G, and B? Whose bright idea was that?
"Error using plot
Parent destroyed during line creation" It just got real.
A: "What is the integral of 1/cabin?"
B: "log cabin."
A: "Nope, houseboat--you forgot the C."
Q: Why does a proton have a charge and a neutron doesn't?
A: Because it has more ups than downs.
So this bar walked into these two guys... sorry, wrong frame of reference
->insert matlab pun function here
If I had a Labrador named Matt to follow me around, my life would be complete.
I liked this one:
Matrix dimensions must agree.
I actually don’t mind their having a difference of opinion so long as they keep it civil and don’t start throwing things.
matlab joke
I like this one: What does Matlab call its grandmother? NaN
why a turtle is so slow ?? mmmm let me think... what are you exactly asking FOR ?? ... maybe no one is waiting FOR ... FOR example, with other animals ...
To mathematicians, solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists, solutions are things that are still all mixed up.
>> doc Matlab jokes or puns
Why did cauchys dog stop at every pole ? A: To leave its residue
power(byThe, MATLAB)
Q: Why do mathematicians like parks?
A: Because of all the natural logs.
i am fully amazed with its functions
You can Excel with MATLAB ;)
I am surprised to see this stuff seriously :))))
seriously??? cool stuff dude! yeah this inbuilt code is indeed over the top! :P :D :D
Why there are so many MATLAB jokes related to LOVE?
Would a script that analyzes and traces handwriting be considered a recursive function?
i am adjusted... i am showing off.. these lines not for me.. these are inbuilt code :D :D [(imadjust, imshow)]...

I thought it is METH LAB so I came here.
I fell in love when i first MET-LAB. So i continued working in LAB as scientist...hehe ;)
i am adjusted... i am showing off.. these lines not for me.. these are inbuilt code :D :D [(imadjust, imshow)]...
imagesc(get(gcf,'PointerShapeCData')); colormap([0 0 0 ; 1 1 .5]); axis image; axis off; set(gcf,'pointer','custom')
my mother said to tidy up my room and all I did was
"clear close all clc"
i am adjusted... i am showing off.. these lines not for me.. these are inbuilt code :D :D [(imadjust, imshow)]...
MATLAB matlab(in Hindi) MATLAB!!

Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25
And my favourite 'Easter Egg' load handel sound(y, Fs)
Have you ever heard about MATLAB toolbox that prepares you a coffee? Be sure to have MOKA port on your laptop!!!
Did you ever hear the joke about the Matlab toolbox equivalent to a poor poet's handbook?....Yeah, me neither.
Like this one!
Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with pencil and paper.
K>> last_err
Undefined function or variable 'last_err'.
Did you mean:
K>> lasterr
ans =
Undefined function or variable 'last_err'.
There once was a humble developer,
Who tried simulating a propellerer,
'When it tries to spin
The out flows in,'
But backwards his model ran betterer.
- Larry Kyrala (In response to a coworker asking how to write a clean limerick rhyming with 'developer'. 2009-02-20)
I don't like to see that matlab accepts subroutines on jokes and puns.
matlab jokes and pun are not visible to me. I don't know why
I hop there will a fun toolbox in MATLAB. Set the parameters and keep laughing.
Tonight We Matlab in Hell
Q: Why do mathematicians like parks?
A: Because of all the natural logs.
The MATLAB Programmer's wife/girlfriend:

How do you say goodbye in Matlab? quit, exit
n = []; Why did n go to lunch? because it was empty...
MATLAB I am curious you
Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.
Are there any doctors on the plane?
Yes, I'm a doctor! (opens up MATLAB)
Jay-z: "Turn that 62 to 125, 125 to a 250 250 to a half a million, ain't nothin' nobody can do with me"
MATLAB: "Say no more !"
i: Be rational! {pi}: Get real!
If you read MATLAB in Hindi, it would be मतलब which means 'Meaning'?!
parfor iDishes=1:nDishes,
do_the_dishes();
end
Matlab is near Boston right ?
So the Bruins will win the Stanley Cup and the Patriots don't cheat...
LOL !!! (says the guy from Montreal)
Greetings from Colombia

Matlab please marry me.
i: Be rational! pi: Get real!
This is my tongue-twister challenge from my old French blog http://blog.developpez.com/matlab4geek/?p=115): Are you able to say several times : BATMAN MATLAB BATMAN MATLAB BATMAN MATLAB …
MATLAB BATMAN may beat the hardest tongue-twister in the English language which is according to Guinness World Records : The sixth sick sheikh’s sixth sheep’s sick. « Le sixième mouton du sixième Cheikh malade est malade. »
matlab is very intresting in simulation if we connect low value device to high capacity then matlab always answered
matlab simplify math

(With apologies to John von Neumann)
Loren Shure challenged Mathworks founder Cleve Moler with this problem:
"Two trains are 100 meters apart, moving towards each other. Each train is moving at 10 meters per second. A bee is flying back and forth between those two trains at 20 meters per second. Eventually the bee will be squished when the two trains crash against each other. When they do, what will be the total distance flown by the bee?"
According to legend, Cleve thought for a moment, and then said "100 meters".
Loren said, "Correct. But now I know, from the quickness of your response, that you are really a physicist, not a mathematician. The mathematician would have calculated when each bee-train encounter takes place, calculated the position, taken the sum of those distances as an infinite series, and then summed the series. But a physicist would have taken a short-cut; the physicists would have realized that the bee was flying for 5 seconds at 20 meters per second, so it would have traveled 100 meters total."
Cleve's purported response: "Oh, that's a clever way to solve it! No, actually, I summed the series."
eye(newt) and ceil(approval)
Matlab is like some kind of a religion, if he doesn't know the answer then he send you a NaN (misspelling of Nun)
Matlab is like some kind of a religion, if he doesn't know the answer then he send you a NaN (misspelling of Nun)
There are
bi2de(10)
types of people in the world, those who know MATLAB and those who don't.
where can i find guide for GUIDE ?
if you plot 8 and 0 on X and Y , who will be on Z?
Alex : I am using Matlab to simulate this sir!
Sir : Mad Lab ?
Alex : Yeah, MatLab
Sir : okay (This guy already mad in the lab)
What did the zero say to the eight? ::::Nice Belt::: "0 turns 8"
How many simulationists does it take to replace a lightbulb? Infinity: Each one builds a fully validated model, but the light actually never goes on.
HELP is very useful, but it couldn't help me to live.
Why sqrt() cannot go out with -1? It is complex
So an input argument of type "double" attempts to enter a circular area(), of which said argument's max radius "r" extends beyond the function's ceil(ing). Why does the program let it pass?
The answer: The function was "dynamic"!
% I know, I know. This was terrible. I'm not feeling overly punny at the moment. Next time, perhaps.
Ask: Is there anything that matlab can't do?
Answer: Give me a girlfriend!
MATLAB is not self-aware:
>> MATLAB
Undefined function or variable 'MATLAB'.
while true
use MATLAB
end
Matlab(In English) Matlab(In Hindi) ?
why do 6 afraid of 7? cos 7 8 9
MATLAB in my language (Persian) means "matter/subject", sound-wise. So, what's the MATLAB with you?!
Why did I divide sine by tan? Just cos I can!
Good question
One day one Hindi teacher got MATLAB installation disk by error. He thought it was of the Hindi movie Matlab...
I 8 a π b 4. U r Σ π ∇!
(transation: I ate a pie before. You are some pi nibbler!)
Matlab is pun
good one
Matlab is an eraser, pen and notebook for engineers. - New World - :))
Even Matlab can't figure out the women =/
>> help women
women not found.
t = linspace(-pi,pi, 350);
X = t .* sin( pi * sin(t)./t);
Y = -abs(t) .* cos( pi * sin(t)./t);
plot(X,Y);
fill(X, Y, 'r');
set(gcf, 'Position', get(0,'Screensize'));
title('Happy Birthday!', 'FontSize', 28);
What was Hodor's name if he was using matlab ?
Holdon;
x = [102 105 98 111 110 97 99 99 105];
f = @(n) [1,0] * [1 1;1 0]^n * [1;0];
char(cell2mat(arrayfun(@(a,b) [repmat(a, 1, f(b)), 32], x, 1:numel(x), 'UniformOutput', false)))
Matlab is a good tool
Matlab loves
A Pirate Captain and his band of scally-wags were out hunting for the treasure of Euclid when they came across a polynomial.
"Arrr," the pirate captain growled, "The devil be laughin' at us, we need to find X."
"And Why?" his crew asked.
"Gya-har! You're right, the roots will give us too many spots."
Nice
Fun overloaded programs will be updated as an extravagant stuff.
E R R O R
Not a joke or pun, but in the spirit of MATLAB fun:
There was an old math guy called Cleve
who, while teaching, a pipe-dream conceived:
of a language so clean
you can say what you mean!
From our suffering we've all been relieved.
wanna create an m-file which could make someone fall in love with me...What is the code for???Can any1 suggest:)
Wanna keep MATLAB busy with single command.
pause(inf);
:P
MATLAB is allrounder!!
I love MATLAB
MATLAB: Matlab Accepts to Loop And Break.
It seems matlab is faster than C++
i dont know it could be a joke but anyway it is here: People tell me write code in C++ because matlab is slow and c++ is fastest, but matlab is faster when i test it using lot of GUI for real.
I love jokes
Why do mathematicians always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
><The real joke is I don't know about MATLAB><
Any jokes, good or bad, let's hear it.
nice one
Why did the inmate want to learn Matlab? Just for cellfun.
nice one
What is the sum of "love"? Is it ever possible that "love" could also have sum? But Matlab knows....

While function and Wife function are similar in nature. while(1) :loop will always be executed with out any break; wife(1) :wife gives only one option to listen to her which should be executed by husband with out any excuse
How to welcome a new thesist: 'Hi, my name is XXXX. First of all the base rules, the most important is: MATLAB is ALWAYS written in capital letters. ALL the name in capital letters, ALWAYS.'
What will be the sum of "love" ?? How could be even "love" have

sum. But matlab knows...
in Persian language has title meaning
A manager and a programmer are travelling by car for a business meeting. Suddenly, the car engine fails and the manager says: "what should we do now? Can you fix it?" "Sure, it's easy, I do it every time my PC fails - let's get off the car, wait for a while and then get in again!"
Go and fool the tall good and smart system manager. But, why? The rich rich and tall and good system manager suggested it. But, why? He wanted it that way. But, why? OK! Scavenger Hunt wanted it that way...:p
if NOT true
% DO NOT code
end
How many programmers are needed to change a light bulb? NaN, it`s a hardwareproblem.

Even MATLAB does not have a brain. No need to worry about life.
>> help me
me not found.
Use the Help browser search field to search the documentation, or type "help help" for help command options, such as help for methods.
Human: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?
MATLAB: 1
a = 1; b = 2; c =a+b; i

become older now do it on your figures.
You use the same way as before but you hope you 'll have a different result ? No :D
Q:What do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplaces?
A:Natural Logs.

Make one error with matlab...
Copy Delete Paste...
Wait That's Maple.
Spent one month trying to fix Maaalab code....
Missing one period :(
>>social life
Undefined function or variable 'social'.
Did you mean:
>> scal life
Yes, sorry MatLab I did mean "scal life"...
- I love Matlab, and I have found my heart in Matlab.*
Australian people say Matlab but say Maaalab
Always
What? who?
What is the tastiest number?
Pi.
Also cant take credit for this one but wanted to share:
"I love MATLAB so much I named my Labrador Retriever 'Matlab'"
Calc the area under the plane
a constant , a linear 2*x function and an arrogant exponential function walk into a diff bar that all the functions are derivated. The constant walks in first. it becomes zero immediately. the linear function walks in afterwards, it resisted first but become zero at the end. The arrogant exponential function , walks in last to show off his strengths to his friends. but it becomes zero as well ,,,, it was a diff bar in respect to 'y' !
How to calc my aeroplane?
By hand or MATLAB!!
Yes of course
--When the teacher says we have a task ( ̄~ ̄)
++But the task is a program in matlab (✿◠‿◠) ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ (* ^ □ ^ ) 八(^□^)
I can see your "view", but your "point" is totally out of "plot".
Two coordinates are talking. What did one coordinate say to the other ?
"I do see your point"
Can you figure out the plot?
When my students make mistakes on MATLAB Command windows -and the computer rings- I always say: Stop Chatting With Cleve Moler
Are the roots of the characteristic equation of the eye matrix called augenvalues in Germany?
(I know. I shouldn’t have. I couldn’t resist!)
type spy
Open the Matlab command window and type one of the following to get a nice surprise:
>> image This one gives an image of a boy.

My teacher asked me to bring calculator in class, so i brought MATLAB.
V=[cos(pi/180*Min(j,D))*cos(pi/180*Min(j,Dip)) ...
sin(pi/180*Min(j,D))*cos(pi/180*Min(j,Dip)) ...
-sin(pi/180*Min(j,Dip))];)
Error: Unbalanced or unexpected parenthesis or bracket.
I found it: it is winking at the end of the code ;)
Perhaps started as a joke......?

Did you hear that MATLAB recently included a method for the software to actually process foods, and store it in a matrix for you?! It's true! Fair warning though; it may take MATLAB a couple of bytes...

believe it >>>>>>>> matlab provides us a 'Game of Life'.......... uuuuuummmmmmmmmmm what...... 'Game of Thrones' .... ohhh no no it is simply a game of life
:B
MatLab or Mat Labs?

Coming up with matlab jokes is as easy as pi
hold the door;
MATLAB Jokes... Compilation Error... !!! Lol
Matlab could have been as cool as Batman if it had one LESS letter l and one New N!

Great question! I mean, I would love to :) (First time using MATLAB Online...)
- How many Matlab lines needed to change a lightbulb? - One, but you need to have the right toolbox.
Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right? A: 1
give printf command to get a easter eggs :)
>>Funny Coding at Matlab.
What is the sign on the door of an internet hacker? 'Gone Phishing' :)
What a funny community!
Of course, Simulink is deserved to be under control.
What does Matlab call its grandmother? NaN
Matlab is so possessive that it wont let Simulink interact with us without it!
In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.
Do you clear all the mess in your room?

its a LabMat! Labrador on a Mat
C U later Calculator, I'll be in the Matrix Laboratory
Plot on
hold on
nice...
hold on
:)
>> temperature Undefined function or variable 'temperature'.
Why MATLAB is the wish of most of the man which he want to be true.Because according to him the other meaning of MATLAB is * | May all the lakes are beer*|.
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
wow
lol ahaahhahaha
hahhaha
haha, I don't know hot to react...
Good Joke
if you == have_a_little_time
disp('Great! You are reading my comment.')
elseif you == have_no_time
disp('Oh man! How you can be so busy?')
else
disp('There is lots of fun.')
end
What do you call a baby eigensheep? A lamb, duh!
How can we identify an engineer using MATLAB ?
"help" is a great feature in Matlab...and one day while looking for a function shortcut i found this gem.. and laughed
>> help fun
fun not found.
Everytime I transfer the type of an image, like
I = single(imread("one_image.jpg"));
I always repeat silently, 'single'. And there shall never be one image. So I repeat again and again. single... single... single...
What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? You can't cross a scalar and a vector
MATLAB = Man At Table Losing Appetite and Beer
Everytime I transfer the type of an image, like
I = single(imread("one_image.jpg"));
I always repeat silently, 'single'. And there shall never be one image. So I repeat again and again.
What do the wise sages use and search for during life? मतलब!
(please copy and paste that into Google translate and look at the English pronunciation and the Hindi translation)
Matlab Q: How does Matlab function?
Reply 2015: Because Math Works;
Reply 2016: Because Math Works; follow this Simulink for more info
What's the difference between R2015 and R2016?
If you and dead people know hex then how many people know hex?
>> 1+hex2dec('dead')
ans =
57006
I'm doing this for the T-Shirt
way to make me crash my MatLab...
%LB Sim
sys = 'LB_Simulationist';
open_system(sys);
run(sys);
% Lightbulb == 1 (On) // == 0 OFF
Lightbulb = simout.data;
num_sims = 1;
while Lightbulb <= 0
run(sys);
Lightbulb = simout.data;
num_sims = num_sims + 1;
end
What's the Object oriented way of becoming wealthy? A: Inheritance
What is the actual translation of Matlab in Arabic
A laboratory died!!! True story :)
Two friends after a movie :
- What did you think about the plot?
- Well, Not enough input arguments.
while not succeeded
try again
end
Math works at MathWorks.
What's purple and commutes?
An abelian grape!
What's green and homeomorphic to the open unit interval?
The real lime!!!
Simulations can be run again and again ...but life has no retakes
Why a man always dream that his wish of MATLAB comes true ? Because according to him MATLAB also means * | | May all the Lakes are BEER||*.
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are hunting and see a deer. The biologist takes a shot and misses 2 feet to the left. The chemist take a shot and misses two feet to the right, and the statistician yells "You got him!"